Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode, cousin of the famous Sir Gilbert Hill, has been musing on the advisability of raising a company amongst his estate workers and descending with fire and sword upon the more recalcitrant inhabitants of Borsetshire. By which he means communists, socialists, fascists and any other damn “-ists” who presume to disturb the county’s peace and tranquillity during the current constitutional crisis.
However, he is distracted from the serious business of Civil War by still having to deal with the nuisance of Dr Weevil. That madman, with his coterie of cultist followers, is persisting in trying to get his hands on The Thing and thus realise his dream of world domination, or at least of a place on the Borsetshire County Council. Thus when Sir Rufus had a telephone call telling him of “goings-on” in the hamlet of Nether Winslet, he despatched a party of armed estate workers to deal with the matter.
BUT ALL IS NOT AS IT SHOULD BE IN THE HAMLET
Arriving in the vicinity of the hamlet, Nick Harper, the party leader quickly assessed the situation. Two clowns from a circus which had set up in the next village had slipped out to visit the pub in Nether Winslett, taking with them their pet chimpanzees. They also had with them The Thing. However, they were unaware of the significance of The Thing. They thought it was merely an attractive musical box, which was why they had stolen it in the first place (but that’s another story). Having become extremely drunk on the potent Borsetshire cider, they attempted to telephone the circus owner to fetch them back in his car. In their inebriated state, they had forgotten that travelling circuses do not have telephones. Eventually giving up on the telephone call, they staggered out intending to get back to the pub, leaving The Thing in the telephone box.
Nick managed to piece together a garbled version of this story from accounts given by scandalised locals. He also learnt that a mysterious stranger, dressed in weird robes and with a group of similarly peculiar followers, was approaching from the other side of the hamlet. This could only be the nefarious Dr Weevil…! The game was afoot and time was of the essence…!
Unfortunately, the photographer from the Borsetshire Gazette arrived too late to record the proceedings, despite having been given ample warning by Sir Rufus. He and Nick Harper were anxious not to disappoint Sir Rufus (always a dangerous thing to do) and so the action was reconstructed for the cameras although, unfortunately, without the participation of Dr Weevil who had long since departed. He and his men were represented in the reconstruction by empty spaces in the landscape.
NICK HARPER ESCHEWS UNMANLY CAUTION
Eschewing unmanly caution, Nick boldly charged directly towards the telephone box whilst his followers set out to apprehend the clowns and their chimpanzees in the hope of gaining useful information. Despite harassing fire from Weevil’s cronies, Nick secured The Thing and removed it to safety whilst his men held off the cultists.
NICK’S MEN SPREAD OUT ROUND THE VILLAGE
Fire fights broke out to the North and South of the hamlet in which the Dr’s followers came off worse. They did manage to interrogate one of the clowns and to capture a chimp with intention of holding it to ransom in exchange for information.
AN INEBRIATED CLOWN APPROACHES Dr WEEVIL SAYING “YOU’RE MY BEST MATE”
Nick’s men secured the other chimp at which point both sides broke off the action and retired from the field. Weevil had been denied The Thing although the information he obtained may encourage him to continue with his evil schemes.
NICK, WITH “THE THING” SAFELY IN HIS GRASP, LEADS HIS MEN TO THE PUB FOR A WELL-EARNED PINT
Plot Points – Major Point in the telephone box. Minor Points the two clowns and the chimps
Weevil secured 2 minor points
Nick Harper secured the major point and 1 minor
Result – Victory for Nick