After his stunning victory at Strangford (already acclaimed far and wide as an astonishing debut to military command) Sir Gilbert has returned to his estate near Pontrilas, to be greeted warmly by Lady Hill and his personal staff, including the charming Miss Fragrance Sweetmeat, his secretary.
The attached photo shows Sir Gilbert with his devoted wife, Lady Hill (in green) and his no less devoted secretary, Miss Fragrance Sweetmeat. Since his disablement, Sir Gilbert has taken a great interest in back injury, specialising in the brain and the nervous system. Here he is seen holding the brain of an orang-outang which he has been studying. Amusingly, after the Battle of Strangford, he was heard to remark that he could harvest numerous human brains from the casualties amongst the BUF but that, on balance, he thought the study of the orang-outang’s brain would be more rewarding.
As a result of his calm demeanour during the battle, Sir Gilbert has graciously declared that his butler, Wrench, will henceforward be the Standard Bearer of the Hill Volunteers. Lady Hill presented the Standard to Wrench at a moving ceremony in front of Sir Gilbert’s ancestral pile. With a delicate chuckle, Lady Hill claimed the flag back almost immediately after the ceremony so that she can add to it the battle honour “Strangford”.
AN EXTRAORDINARY DISCOVERY
Sir Gilbert’s men recently made an exhaustive search of the abandoned army munitions dump at Pontrilas. The contents of this facility were moved to a more central location some time ago but the careful searcher can still uncover some treasures. As well as some support weapons, even now being restored to working order in the Golden Valley Railway workshops, a particularly exciting item was found in a dilapidated shed at the edge of the base. It was no less a treasure than an experimental steam tank, or perhaps armoured car would be closer to the mark. Regardless of the correct nomenclature, this vehicle has been fully restored to working condition by the Golden Valley Railway engineers. No strangers to steam power, the engineers found the repair of this device to be a fascinating project and one which their particular skills were ideally suited to. Sir Gilbert Hill’s Volunteers are now the proud possessors of a working steam armoured vehicle which they confidently expect will wreak havoc amongst the disturbers of the Herefordshire tranquility, in others words, the so-called Royalists and their disgusting lackeys, the BUF.